Building Better Relationships by Letting Go of Assumptions and Judgements
Assumptions cloud our perspective, damage relationships, and stop us from seeing truth. We often judge too fast, missing chances for empathy, understanding, and deeper human connection.
We often rush to judge, expecting every new moment to play out like the ones before. Caught in the loop of past experiences, we stop seeing things and people for what they truly are. In doing so, we miss valuable insights and sometimes even push away what could have been a meaningful connection. A recent encounter made this lesson real for me. Let me take you through it perhaps there’s something good in it for both of us.
“Are you planning to sell your shop?” the man asked casually. I felt a wave of annoyance — his question reminded me of the pointless remarks I used to hear when working at a friend’s shop. People often made such comments, not out of concern, but just to amuse themselves. Instead of reacting negatively, I chose silence and ignored the question.
After completing his purchase, his tone suddenly shifted. With a touch of concern, he said, “It’s getting really hard to meet expenses these days. You must be paying high rent. I used to be in real estate, and now I’m running a farm, but the costs are out of control. Look at me — I came here on my bike and didn’t even press my clothes, just trying to save wherever I can.”
I wasn’t expecting this honesty. I nodded and replied, “Yes, you’re right. Over the past few years, it’s become a struggle for everyone. Running a business now feels more like bleeding money than making it.”
He looked over at his grandchild and added, “What worries me more is the future of our kids. If things continue like this, what will they do? There’ll be no jobs, no business — only chaos. And no one in power seems to be doing anything about it.”
I had initially judged him too quickly, caught in my own mindset and past biases. All I could do was offer a few words of agreement before he quietly walked away.
When we judge too soon, we close the door to understanding and connection
As soon as he asked the question, I jumped to conclusions. My past experiences came rushing back, coloring the moment before it even had a chance to unfold. And the truth is, this is something many of us do. We let our assumptions speak louder than the present moment, than the truth.
Each experience is unique, but we rarely treat it that way. Instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt, we often reject even honest intentions simply because they don’t align with the narrative we’ve built in our heads. By doing so, we not only miss out on something potentially meaningful, but also risk turning genuine encounters into missed opportunities.
This habit doesn’t just affect our interactions with strangers. It quietly erodes our relationships with those closest to us. When we allow assumptions to drive our reactions, trust fades and connection weakens. Over time, this pattern can sabotage bonds that could have grown stronger if only we had paused, listened, and seen with a little more openness.
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin
Resist the Urge to Judge — Seek Clarity, Assume the Good
Instead of rushing to conclusions during our interactions, we should pause and try to understand the situation. Perhaps the other person is going through something similar and is simply trying to relate. Maybe they just want to share their perspective, offer support, or even extend a helping hand.
If we’re going to assume something anyway, why not choose to assume the best? Giving others the benefit of the doubt not only creates space for better connections, but it also fills us with positive energy. Often, a positive mindset can transform a tense moment into a meaningful one — whereas negativity can sabotage even the most genuine encounters.
So, resist the urge to judge too quickly. Seek clarity. And if assumption is unavoidable, choose the one that opens hearts, not closes them.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” — Wayne Dyer
The situation in Pakistan has been challenging for many, with political and economic instability affecting daily life. People are grappling with rising inflation, unemployment, and uncertain futures, which often leads to frustrations being expressed in various ways. It’s also crucial to understand that in times like these, empathy and open-mindedness can go a long way in helping us relate to each other, instead of letting assumptions cloud our judgment.
For better understanding read the full article: The Fall of Democracy & Economic Collapse
If you have read this I would love to hear what you have to say on this topic.